News Archive 16
Monday Feb 22nd
Good news. Wifey is coming out of Hospital today. She's and the baby are ok. She's just got to rest. My thanks to those of you who sent their goood wishes.

To the right another odd chimpy story, from the Times on Saturday, no less. Not much happening in the world I suppose.

Here's another one of those great dictionary definitions

Gyroscope, n.: A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis and also free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpendicular to each other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the two mutually perpendicular axes results from application of torque to the other when the wheel is spinning and so that the entire apparatus offers considerable opposition depending on the angular momentum to any torque that would change the direction of the axis of spin.
-- Webster's Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary

Got a nice mail from Col Failure. I'll post it tomorrow. An opportunity for one of you to put pen to paper in pursuit of the search for the shoe.


Friday Feb 19th
Brum Brum's been working overtime with his screencapture. Every day I get a mail with a pic of me biting the dust in ever increasingly impossible attitudes. I can take it. Eeeek
Friday Feb 26th

No news from CoW yet, but MoD are champing at the bit again, I mean I was a lil provocative on the forum :o)


Thursday Feb 25th
Is anyone going to be around on Saturday afternoon, about 12:00 to 15:00 GMT. I thought about having the CoW rumble during the day, if they are agreeable.

I think we should have a FFA practice before the game and the top 6 scores get to play. (two lots of 3) For myself, I will give way to anyone who has n,t played yet. We really do need to talk before the rumble. It was a dog's breakfast last time. Too many pissheads (me too) talking at once :)

I am going to try and get a forum thingy like the BZF for our site, make life easier.

Wednesday Feb 24th
If anyone wants to buy me a prezzie for being such a nice bloke, I'll have one of these, to get my own back on all those tossers who drive around town in Urban Assaut Vehicles (AKA Range-Rovers etc). This would teach the sod's some manners. Pant woof

I am really famous now. That nice Col Failure chappie has done me a VC trading card. Hugs.

Tuesday Feb 22nd
Ok here we go. First of all this. If you ain't a Furby fan, this is for you.

Secondly, here's the email from Col Failure over at the VC. Anyone fancy taking this one on?

Your refusal to swear allegiance to the Sacred Green Ball has thrown a spanner into the works. Typical bloody Brit, gotta be difficult :) However, I have a proposal to make;

I am currently working on the Bible of the VC, including the history of the Sacred Hoover and was wondering whether I could work The Shoe into the mythology? I'm intending to write the first chapter, and then offer consecutive chapters over to other people to continue the story. If you're game, perhaps you would like to pen the Shoe chapter? It won't be an epic work, but it could make for some amusement. (Looks like Fear's volenteered).

The cheque's in the post.


Sunday Feb 21st

Won't be about much today. I jst got back from A&E at the Hospital. Wifey had a fall and we had to get her checked out. Looks like she and the baby are OK, but they are gonna keep her in overnight for observation. Sheesh. There's still another 5 months to go yet.

If this keeps up. I'm gonna have to get some Hair dye.

Saturday Feb 20th

I'm having a break from journalism this weekend, if its all right with you lot.

I got a copy of Bryce 3D yesterday. Soon as I figure it out, I'll do some nice stuff for pages.

Here is an alternative Mag Muffler for you. I pissed myself when I first fired it up. Hope you like it. Don't forget to rename your existing file (to save it overwriting) and this one to gmagg00.wav.

Link to Shot Page

I think there is every likelyhood of a serious session tonight. I shall be out with Capt Mo drinking and currying before getting stuck in. Wifey is out tonight so I can have some serious sub-woofer action. I got a 2*12 cabinet driven by a Marshall 100 watt guitar amp. Talking serious dynamic range here. Wind that up and put it behind you, it gives you a real incentive not to get hit! Ha ha.

Remember ,next to being shot at and being missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.

Thursday Feb 18th
God I 've got a sore butt. I had a one on one with Soulblade last night in a Pyramid game . I came second (10-1). Severe mag whacking. My excuse...Ummm er I was host. Well I asked him about the rumble and he says they got MoD this weekend, so I propose we do it the weekend of the 27th Feb. As usual all you aggressive types mean we will have more than enough for the match. maybe a way to do it is to let 3 play the first game and then 3 more in the second. 4 just gets too laggy to be any use. The good news is I don't think they want to play any strat. (thank God) I'll ask CoW if that's cool. I still think a pre match free for all to see who's "smoking" is a good sceme tho. Watch this space

Wednesday Feb 17th
Ahem. We have been challenged by The Covern of Warlocks to a rumble. This is gonna be a hard one. Mr Soulblade is one of the finest players in BZ. Now I ain't about to start choosing a team, just cos they are a tuff proposition, but we need to consider a team before hand. It was a bloody shambles in the lobby the other night :) Well I need to know which of you are gonna be around at the weekend and want to give it a go. So far I got Upuaut. I think maybe if there is more than 3 of us then we ought to have a pre match practice like the formula one boys do, to see who's on form. I dunno. Difficult, I dont want to come across as making any rules. It is for fun after all. By the same token we want to give CoW a run for their money, let me know what you think.

This is why The Chimpinators is such brilliantly written story.(modest with it too).

Rules for Writers:

Remember to never split an infinitive. The passive voice should never be used. Do not put statements in the negative form. Verbs have to agree with their subjects. Proof read carefully to see if you words out. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing. A writer must not shift your point of view. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.) Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!! Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing. Always pick on the correct idiom. The adverb always follows the verb. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven days.

Eventually, Michael the archangel found Him in a remote spot in off to the side of the universe. He inquired of God, "Where were you? Everyone was really worried!"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look, my loyal servant. Look at what I'm making."

The Archangel Michael was puzzled. "What is it?"

"It's a planet, and I'm putting LIFE on it! I've named it 'Earth' and there's going to be a balance between everything on it. For example," he pointed, "there's North America and South America. North America is going to be rich and South America is going to be poor, and the narrow bit joining them - that's going to be a hot spot. Now look over here. I've put a continent of white people in the north, and another one of black people in the south. See?

"Wow!" the archangel voiced his praise, scanning his eye over this wondrous creation. "And what's that long white line there?"

"Ahhh," God said, tapping His nose. "That's New Zealand - the land of the long white cloud. That's a very special place. That's going to be the most glorious spot on earth-beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams, fascinating flora and fauna, and an exquisite coast-line. The people there are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous, and they'll be found travelling all over the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving. And I'm going to give them this superhuman, undefeatable rugby team which will be blessed with the most talented, and charismatic specimens on the planet, and will be admired and feared by all who come across them."

Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration, but paused... "Hold on a second, Oh Father... what about the balance? You said there was going to be balance in all things..."

God chuckled. "Wait until you see the neighbours I'm going to give them.

Do n't forget this is your clan too, if you have got any contributions send them to me!

That's all for now, drop me a line

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