News Archive 21
Saturday May 22nd
Being the C in C means I get officer's quarters. You v'e seen this before, but not on the moon. He he

"The little house on the Mare"

Click on image for full size pikkie, 15k's
Link to Mare house

Friday May 21st
Wahoo we're top again. Well done chaps.

Spare a thought for our poor comrade who is away from home all week. In a noble effort to reduce the drain constant Battlezoning has on his disposable income he has obtained some budget digs. Being a modest fellow he was keeping it to himself, but Uncle Taz discovered his secret location. The tell tale whiff of "herbal cigarretes" and outside lavvy gas gave it away.
Not to mention the "Bob" left outside (nae garage at these prices).

Click on image for full size pikkie, 34k'
Link to a Hero's billet
Thursday May 20th
Here's a shot of Dr Golem and friend having a cordial earbash between chimpinating.

Click on image for full size pikkie, 32k'
(the 24bit bmp is 1200 by 800,
Link to Dr Golem & friend image

Wednesday May 19th
Well, nothings ever easy. I succeeded in buggering up the forum last night. I will try and sort it today. It still works, it just looks a lil odd tho'


I have made a big dent in the web overhall job today. Some member's pages still need updating as do the bugfix pages. It will all get done in time. Wome was n't built in a Day and my eyes are smarting! As you know I write all this stuff in HTML and despite using the correct protocols NS and IE still differ, which adds to the timescales. Including drawing the new logos and banners etc, it's a 2 to 3 day job. It's a pain in the arse, no wonder so many people have binned there FP98. Mine went ages ago.

Tuesday May 18th
Time for a lil tart up again, got to keep the fans interested, over the next few days I will be doing some updates to the site. Hope you like them, if not, tuff titty. He he, It's mine you hear, all mine, muhahahahaha. Damn, I'm loosing it again. Soz

Monday May 17th
Hot on the heels of the new shoogun comes the Lavvy bomber. This new machine is not dependent on nano anno and will shoot out any old crap from the 500mm porcelain cannon. Here is is seen discharging chimp counter-measures
Link to Lavvybomber image

Click on image for full size pikkie, 46k'

Some intense chimp activity on the Sunday saw yet more restaint from the mature Smeg Members. I happy to say despite the intense trolling the guys showed why we are above all that. ( I am exhausted from giving out "virtual" pats on the back) pant, pant. We had the last word tho' ripped them a new one in the field, he he.

Saturday May 15th
You may have already read on the forum, but I'll say it again, as the forum's in a state of flux. We won against Ni last night. I had a one on one with Ni~Mark and won 2 : 1. He's a very good stoli pilot and I got twin tagged to death in a colli to start with. I managed to recover with a Maggamid followed by a bomber colli. So we are revenged. He he he. Gavners talking to me again now :)

The forum seems to have found a more stable platform so I have changed the links now.

Friday May 14th
Still playing around with the Forum. Up's has been putting in a lot of work and it's certainly a lot faster now. We'll keep ypu posted. We need some wins this weekend, MoD are top, unheard of!!!!!!

I have a week off now, got lots to do :) not long now before junior arrives.

Thusday May 13
In order to reverse the recent defeats the smeg arsenal has produced the fearsome "Shoogun". Why "off-road" when you can "off-planet". Twin blasts and dual mags come as standard, as does the sun roof, on which you can see our brave test pilot, putting the new machine through it's paces. (well they would be paces would n't they) he he.
Link to Shoogun image

Click on image for full size pikkie, 26k's

Wednesday May 12th
Happy Birthday Killie. The Killiefish is 21 again, ha ha ha. Have a good one mate, we'll meet up at the Bridge again soon. All the best

I must remember to change the shot of the month sometime. Keep sending the shots :)

Tuesday May 11th
Bugger, we lost to The Knights of "Ni" 2 : 1 last night. My fault. Soz Gav, not my best game. Well I promise to do better next time.

The Forum continues to be a lil tempremental, the clan techie has it in hand, bare with us. As I explained B4, it is on a remote server, so it's not a simple job administering it. I have, however, started putting in place the arsehole filter, so we should se a reduction in moronic postings.
Monday May 10th
After reading some of the vitriol-soaked postings on the various forums over the last few days I have to say that all of you deserve a pat on the back for not attracting this kind of unwelcome discussion. Thanks again for making it all worthwhile I really am justly proud of you all.

I, being of small brain, cannot comprehend how so much animosity could spring out of a game. I suggest therefore we resolve to rise above it and not get embroiled in squabbles of this nature (which I'm certain you would n't anyway :o). The intense fervour with which these disputes are pursued is all together unwholesome.

I Missed a lot of you at the weekend, although of course the old die-hards were about. Mind you, we do have a penchat for aliases, so we all could have been there at some stage. We tried to have an instant game with NI, but sadly we abandonded it at one all. Poor Hemi's ping was all over the place

Satuday May 8th
Well it's been a sad day for BMR and CoW. Two clans are no more. Let's hope that this sad fate will not overtake us. I have done some work on the forum as the HTML got a lil buggered. It should be Ok now tho.
Friday May 7th
The next Episode of "The Chimpinators"Episode Nine : "Oh Fekk !! we're in deep doo now !!!" is now out. I hope this appeases all of those who waited so long for the last one.

This must have been one of the slowest 4 day weeks ever. TFI Friday. Curry, beer and BZ. Pass the Flamm Fearie.

Thursday May 6th
I was walking past a delivery (pub dray) this morning and there was one extremely pissed-off driver talking with a policewomen. It seems he was only away from it for a heartbeat and somebody had knicked a case of spirits. It was one of those "Tautliner" jobbies with the plackie-canvas covering. Sure enough there was a big slash at the front where the buggers had lifted to stuff.

Covent Garden has a pretty solid nomadic drinking community and it was probably consumed for brekkie by the time plod turned up.

I have managed to fix my shagged BZ "unhandled exception", with a lil help from Omnicron. It was a corrupt line in the netmis file. Appearently this is a common problem. If the netmis has a duff line in the file, it will still alow the game to run, but as soon as you try and play on line, fzzzzzt, goodnight Vienna.

Also I have altered the lists on the members page. There are now 3 lists. "Active (seen most nights) Semi-active (seen now and again) and A F K, (aint seen them for ages). This is based on observations (by me and other definitly active members) If you think you are in the wrong list, then get even more active, he he he.

This should help people who want to make challanges see who is likely to be about.

Wednesday May 5th
The Smeg Forum is working again at last. Again thanks to Ups (who had to put his hand in his own pocket to the tune of 35) to get the host up and running again. Mwah

Also, at the time of writing, we are top of the BZF Ladder. Hoorah! MoD have indicated they would like to upset this state of affairs.
Well, here's a funny thing. If you make a file name like the one on the right, you can access parts of your body, directly from your desktop. Another really usefully tip from Dr Smeggo

Tuesday May the Forth
Bah. My BZ is shagged, I gotta re-install, so I doubt if I'll bother for a few days, might even leave it to the weekend. I'll still answer mail and do the news tho :)

Secondly another old-timer wants in, Formally of DO, the Arse Leuitenant. So if you see him around, it's for real. I'll do a page sometime.

If any of you can tell me how to get the IAS sounds to pan, let me know. I got sound coming out the back, but there's no relative movement info working.

Happy forthday

Sunday May 2nd
Better news today. Fear won the last of his ladder games with MoD last night, so that gives him/us a 2 - 1 win. Well done M8.

Secondly we took on the might of the VC last night and won 2 -1 also. Very good games, at least the two that I was in were. We were all pissed too, hysterical. My apologies to the poor VC sod that I ran over during the course of the decider, I just never saw you M8. Soz


Do n't forget this is your clan too, if you have got any contributions send them to me!

That's all for now, drop me a line

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