News Archive 23

Tuesday June 29th
I've been having some interesting discussions about encryption and the security of "encoded" credit card details that some vendors offer

This is out of the PGP user's manual. A quote from R Zimmerman

"Even the really good software packages, that use DES in the correct modes of operation, still have problems. Standard DES uses a 56-bit key, which is too small by today’s standards, and can now be easily broken by exhaustive key searches on special high-speed machines. The DES has reached the end of its useful life, and so has any software package that relies on it.

There is a company called AccessData ( that sells a very low-cost package that cracks the built-in encryption schemes used by WordPerfect, Lotus 1-2-3, MS Excel, Symphony, Quattro Pro, Paradox, MS Word, and PKZIP. It doesn’t simply guess passwords—it does real cryptanalysis. Some people buy it when they forget their password for their own files. Law enforcement agencies buy it too, so they can read files they seize. I talked to Eric Thompson, the author, and he said his program only takes a split second to crack them, but he put in some delay loops to slow it down so it doesn’t look so easy to the customer."

So there you go , I shall be as paranoid as I like, thank you very much. Alegedly most UK based financial on-line sevices are only using 40 bit encryption. . What does annoy me is that the vendors claim these "submit forms" are secure. Is this not a breach of advertising standards, or is there some small print I am missing?

Surely it is encumbant on them to use 128 bit encryption as a minimum?

A large telecom company/service provider told me over the telephone that I cannot establish a dialup account via telephone and even If I could then they would simply enter the details into the www in the same manner as I would have done.

If there is to be any chance of Ecommerce becoming more widespead, then you have to convince the scepticts, (read me here).

Whilst I accept that the likelyhood that "anyone out" there is interested in my details I am curios how long it will be before the harvester "bots" are collecting financial details in the same way they do emails.

Over to the more informed

Now as far as Smeg stuff goes I should have have a new map for you in the next couple of days. It's a small one too, so less of the grizzles about frame rates :) At the risk of being immodest, I think it's gonna be my best yet.

Monday June 28th
My thanks to {VC}Armadillo for a funny mpg "Extreme user error".

Saturday June26th
New map finished. "Armadillo" Nice and fast again, good for bombers

BTW, where is everyone, I mean, I know where some of you are, but there are ppl, who have n't been around for ages. Talk to me ppl. I am gonna be up to my eyes in it soon.

Friday June25th
I overheard this in the pub last night. Those of you who read The Chimpinators will understand my reaction. Two reps talking about folders and where to put the company logo.

"Where do you think Mike" says the 1st bloke, "Top of the spine?"

"No, there's only one place it can go, front bottom, right flap."

One mouthfull of Stella everywhere, I choked. Bloody hysterical.

Monday June21st
I just had a look at the ladder on the BZF. Well done you blokes. For those of you who have n't seen it get on over to the BZF, it may never look this good again. Win streak of six, played 27 and only lost 8, Fekking brill!

Again, well done

Sunday June20th
Well here we are. The new ISP. I have been busy shifting all the whole site here.

The only thing left on the Demon URL will be pages telling people we have moved. I just tried to delete the old site, but guess what, the FTP login at Demon is FUBAR. Says it all really does n't it.

Now it's all sorted I'll resume "normal" service.

Thursday June17th
In additon to changing the format of The Chimpinators I have now made a "story so far" page which contains all of the episodes to date in one file. The episodes are hyperlinked so you don't have to scroll for up and down the page for ages. Available at "The complete story".

There was an error on the maps page. The "bommamid" link actually pionted at "". This has now been corrected. Thanks to Auriga for bringing it to my attention.

Tuesday June16th
the latest issue of "The Chimpinators" is out today Episode 10 "Visions" I have altered the format slightly to make printing a lil easier. Now leave me alone for a bit. *rasp*

Monday June15th
By now you all prob know we finished 5th out of 16 in the BZF tourney at the weekend. I would like to say thanks to all those who took part. (the usual hard core).Thanks to KIllie and Jaks for staying on long after sane ppl had turned in (0630 is taking it almost seriously). Special thanks to Fearie for coming back into the fold despite having more than enough on his plate at the mo.

It has to be said that we were a whisker of a % of 3rd. Anyway I am proud of you guys , well done. I only played 3 games myself, lost one to Soul Blade, just could nt get near him. Won the other two tho.

I shall be doing some more maps soon, the bommamid seems to be quite popular. I released it yesterday and could n't get into a game using my new map, cos it was full!!!! Bloddy cheek :) The map page will be amended to reflect the new content.

Now here's a funny for you

Two mathematicians were having dinner in at V.J.'s restaurant, Ozark, Alabama, arguing about the average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained that it was surprisingly high.

"I'll tell you what," said the cynic, "ask that waitress a simple math question. If she gets it right, I'll pick up dinner. If not, you do." He then excused himself to visit the men's room, and the other called the waitress over.

"When my friend comes back," he told her, "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to respond 'one third x cubed.' There's twenty bucks in it for you."

She agreed.

The cynic returned from the bathroom and called the waitress over. "The food was wonderful, thank you," the mathematician started, "Incidentally, do you know what the integral of x squared is?"

The waitress looked pensive; almost pained. She looked around the room, at her feet, made gurgling noises, and finally said, "Um, 'one third x cubed'?"

So the cynic paid the check.

The waitress wheeled around, walked a few paces away, looked back at the two men, and muttered under her breath, " ... plus a constant."

Saturday June12th
Another map Bommamid is out. A bomber only map.

Friday June11th
Another map Eezeemid is out. A less complicated Biggamid, faster with less traps.

Thursday June10th
Sorry about the lack of News, but the Forum takes care of that. At last the final release of Biggamid is out, soz for the delay, but from the reactions I have had, you should find it worth the wait. If you have an earlier version , please bin it, as the map name is unchanged.

Monday June7th
Soz, Biggamid temp not available, fix it later, found a bug.

I received this mail from Col Failure about the BZF Tourney this weekend.

Okay, this week is The Week of the tournament. All being well this could be a fantastic event for all the BZF members and make for a most entertaining evening for all involved. Unfortunately, some people will have to put in a little more work than just turn up in order for this to be a success. I am depending on the leaders of member clans to publicise this event to the max, and to ensure that a good number their members turn up to play, are familiar with the rules we'll be using and "behave" themselves.

If you think about it, between the lonewolves and member clans of the BZF there are in excess of 500 BZ players involved. If a fifth of these players turned up to play one game, that would be 50 matches! All in one evening. Hmmm. What am I letting us in for, I wonder?

At any rate, the first thing I'll need is a handful of people who are prepared to referee the tournament. You'll see from the news page that I've taken on a 3 hour stint from 11pm to 2am GMT which should be enough to kill me. So please sign up, or invite your trusted and impartial members to sign up for a timeslot. I would say at least an hour, at most 3 hours. If you do sign up, please try your utmost to be there when you say you will be. If enough ref's sign up we should be able to get some overlap of times, so that we can take time off. So please send me the times you would like to cover as soon as you can. I'll be updating the list on a daily basis, so we all know what is going on.

Right, what follows is more or less what I'll be posting on the VC site to inform my members of what is happening. Feel free to use it to do the same for your people, or modify it as need be.

This Saturday coming (12th June) will be the first BZF tournament. This will probably be your best chance to date to really overdose on BZ competitive play, since there will, no doubt, be innumerable games for you to get involved in.

The tournament will run from 18:00GMT on Saturday to 06:00GMT on Sunday and will work like this :

On US2 there will be two rooms set up. The first will be the referee room called "BZF Referee" and will have a representative from the BZF to take care of results and any disputes. The second room will be called "BZF Tournament" and will hold any players looking for a game. Once you're in the Tournament room, you can challenge whoever you like to whatever form of game you like, and while BZF rules will be in full force they can be changed from game to game if your opponents agree to it. Note that matches can only contain 2 sides, no 3 or 4 way contests will count. Once you've played the match, you need to make sure that the result is reported to the BZF ref, otherwise it won't count. The ref will need to know which clan or lonewolf you represent, and who your opponent was, the result, and the time you started. If there are no referees present, use the email button on the BZF site to send the result in, making sure to include the name of the clan or lonewolf you represent, your opponent and the time the match started.

After all the results have reached the BZF victory will be determined by overall win percentage with the number of matches played being the deciding factor. In order to qualify for victory clans must have played at least 5 games, lonewolves 3 games, and in the event of a tie a special match will be arranged by the BZF to determine the result. We will therefore need to make sure that we play enough matches to qualify, but since we have [insert number of members here] in our clan and we can play 1 on 1 matches if we like, I don't think this will be a problem.

The highest ranked clan will be the official victor, with the 2nd and 3rd placed clans also being recognised, while the highest ranked lonewolf will also get a high-standing award.

This should be a thoroughly worthwhile event, so do your best to sign up for it, making sure you are familiar with the BZF rules and competition details in the process. The BZF page is here Come on, lets kick some tail.

Use it if you like, reword it if you want, just make sure the important details are included.

If you would like to volunteer, or have any clan members who would be useful as referees let me know as soon as possible, including the time you would like to cover so I can get holes filled. This will be a commitment you are making to the tournament, so please don't sign up unless you are 99% certain you'll be able to do your shift.

If you have any suggestions or comments on the way this is set up please use the forum, since it will get debated much quicker. Also, please post a message of intent for yourself or your clan if you will be attending, so we can see what kind of response we'll be getting.

Thanks a lot. With all of us pulling together on this we can make it a most entertaining evening.

Colonel Failure BZF Admin

So there you have it. I will be very busy this coming weekend (pre-baby stuff) and will not have time to particpate in a major way, other than a match or two. I can't see me playing through to 7 am either. Any of you guys who want to out your hand up for the above job ??

Saturday June 5th
OK OK, So here is a smaller map for you. ( ) version 2 avail soon, temp suspended Totally different kettle of herring to the previous one.

Friday June 4th
OK OK, IKnow its a big map. I'ts supposed to be a big map. You don't have to use all of it for feck's sake. Anyway I'm starting a new one today and that will be smaller. So there... pant pant.
Thursday June 3rd
Homer, Mo, Nuttski and I tried the new map out last night and it seems to be stable. A couple of them fell foul of the "bolt mine pit" he he. Also I have put a new version of the map file ( ) up as the original did n't have the .MAD file for the mapadder. This is my first creation so please let me have any suggestions or ideas for future maps as I intend to make some more. Constructive criticism also welcome.

I hope you enjoy it. I was encouraged by the comments from the lads last night, to whom I am grateful for the tryout. You we be pleased to know there are no raves in it :) Also the terrain is well suited to bomber and sniper games. Lots of alien bits and pieces all over the place, also a waterfall which runs in to a wide basin which is ideal for tank/Sp combat.

Wednesday June 2nd
Hmmm. In order to try and breath some humour back into the stifling air I have amended the Homepage. No prizes for guessing who I am sending up this time :)

Lets kick the serious shit into touch

Hey, me maps finished

Do n't forget this is your clan too, if you have got any contributions send them to me!


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