Pages by Rod Hayward aka..
{SMEG}~Taz ^..^

News archive
Bug Fixes
Multiplay Page
What is Smeg?
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Although this is primarily a news page for the members, if you are n't a Smeg and you have wandered in here out of curiosity, you are welcome anyway.

  • The news will be updated as and when time permits, the last two weeks on the page will be transferred to the archive page.

  • Game tips, bugs and snags will be on the appropriate pages.

  • It will, of course, be dependent on time and space [no pun intended] :)

  • I do not intend to list the "best, worst, so and so sucks" type stuff.

  • Any reproduced posts are "as is" with no guarentees or acceptance of any liability for innaccuracies or errors.

Wednesday Nov 25th
Well I have made a decision. The first episode of the long awaited "Chimpinators" story will be published today. Originally it was going to be illustrated, but I am afraid you are just gonna have to use your imagination. I just have not got the time to do the pics, the site, the story and occasionally get a game in.

If I wait for the artwork until I start the saga, then it's Never gonna happen, still it should be an amusing story anyway. It,s (very loosly) based around all your favourite BZ players, with a storyline that's no more far-fetched than the TV soaps.

You have been warned.

Somewhere on this page there is a secret message, betcha can't see it with out looking at the source or printing the page with the "backgrounds" checked off in options.

F**k me, my mouth hurts. I 'm not working tomorrow, so as soon as this sedatives completely out of my system (tonight), I'm going to get pissed.
Wednesday Nov 25th
Groan. My mouth is killing me, two teeth out. A big bastard from down the back and a lil' f***er bottom front. The lil' one was busted in half years ago as a result of trying to take a bite out of a rugby goalpost. Don't think I'm gonn be much of a threat to anyone 'til I shake of this sedation.

Good to see some of the new flags out and about in some games last night and even better to see Sampo getting stuck in again, as I have n't seen him for a while.

Stop Press, Against all good medical advice, I went out and had 2 strong lagers just now on top of the medication. I feel "brand new", in fact.....uhhhh. Oh God Oh God,..... here comes the rush.

"My stars, it's full of dogs". wheeeeeeeeeee. Dont try this at home kiddies.
Tuesday Nov 24th
I made you all some new flags for your ships today. I have managed to get all the longer names some of you have on to these and still be quite readable.

For example

Of couse you may care not to use them, but I keep getting zapped, while I am trying to figure out who the good guys are as there are now more of us. I think as these flags are rather bold we should be able to see each other from a reasonable distance, thats the theory anyway. As always, please yourself.

I'll put them in a directory at this site (The name of which I will mail you). This way you can go get your flag if you lose it.

I am going in for some serious dentistry shit tomorrow and they are gonna knock me out, so you may hear a deafining silence for a few days.


Sunday Nov22
This just in. A late breaking story. The infamous Coco Smiley (A Chief Primate spy) was spotted trying to infiltrate a Jimi Hendrix tribute gig. Despite rapid interception by in-house security he got away again. {Smeg}Jaki Chan was present and managed to get a picture of his latest disguise before the wiley chimp escaped.

Be on your guard !

Sunday Nov 22th
Another late one last night. Anytime I meet up with Fear on a Saturday night I know it's gonna be a long one. 3 am finish again. Remind me not to play in Razor only games, I aint made for it. Fear on other hand chalked up 50 kills for about 5 losses by the time I left.

Some lil' birds told me the one of the incumbent Smegs has been displaying some chimpish attributes. This particular bloke still has n't asked me if he can jump in yet. Remember, if they aint on the members page, they aint a Smeg. I give everybody their own page and all I ask is a few details, which aint too much, compaired to the work I put into the site. Sniff sniff (Oooops nearly chimpish there).

On a brighter note Demon have now got at least one V90 port and the Tel no for that is 0845 2120666. I flashed my 56 flex on Friday night and it's changed my game completly. I am getting more kills and the game is much smoother.

{SMEG}~Brumtold me that he was giving a couple of his mates from work some tips in a passworded game last night so they would'nt get bounced. Good idea, I wonder if that's gonna mean another surge in Smeg membership. Heh, it's kills me, I mean this was all a joke to start with (still not gonna get serious tho'). No wonder I'm getting confused with who is whom. I'm gonna have to start writing it down soon.

Ok that's it for today, I'm gonna start on the new flags for you all today.
Thursday Nov 19th
NEWSPAPERS, I hate newspapers. I got on the train this morning and I was already cold before I sat down. A chimp opposite me is flapping his bloody broadsheet for all his worth while occasionally looking at the pictures. Can't these people just sit still? I froze my nuts off as a result of his incessant fanning. Grrrrrrrrrrr ^..^ (this is a TAZ peeking over a wall at you, heh)

I still have n't heard anything from "major" and "electric eye", so no changes to the members role yet. Upuaut is sitting some sort of Microcrap Exam today, so good luck with that. He also has a chimp avi which I hope he is gonna send in.

STOP PRESS, 21:20 Upuaut passed his Microshit exam, yayyyyyyyyyy
Tuesday Nov 17th
Hmmmm, Tuesday's not much better than Monday. Sounds like an Allman Bro's song. Almost had some knuckle with a dweeb in a BMW this morning. Usual gauntlet at Ludgate Circus, he cant go anywhere cos the pedestian lights on the left turn are red and he's stuck in the box, blocking everyone, so he decides to toe it straight at us.

There's a 5 series driving around London this morning with the remains of a sausage McMuffin stuck to his windscreen. Serves him right the p***k.

Half way up fleet street I observed another early morning London Phenomemon. A large star-shaped object on the pavement? On closer examination it revealed itself as a high-velocity vomit impact crater, the rays extended some three feet in all directions. Clearly a great deal of energy had been released. The carefully executed placement of the chunder, dead center of the footway, was obviously the creation of a real emetic expert.

Seems like I can't get away from Vom about lately.
Monday Nov 16th
Nothin to tell ya. back to work. Mags are going well tho, heh I know ya don.t like em.
We may have two more Smegs, but they aint spoken to me yet. That's all. Crappy Monday

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